One thing I would do differently #imustconfess

It’s again interesting timing for this prompt, something that I did not foresee when I first set this list of #imustconfess prompts a few months ago.

Who knew that Britain’s referendum on their European Union membership would lead to #Brexit last week?

Certainly many politicians, journalists and nearly half of the UK population didn’t see it coming. It seems there are many back in the UK right now who would happily go back and vote differently if they had the opportunity.

And for us here in Australia, we have our own poll coming up this weekend with the Federal election set for Saturday. Again the result is expected to be close – I just hope we can finally secure a government that will govern for all of us, not just for some of us.

But for me, this week also marks a year since I lost my father to cancer.

On Wednesday, to mark the first anniversary of his death, I’ll be heading out to Stockton Beach with my brother to spend some time at the place where we scattered Dad’s ashes. We both want to be close to him and to take the time to remember him and celebrate his life.

And on Saturday, on the first anniversary of his funeral, I’ll make my vote count before settling in to watch the election unfold. And I’ll have a few drinks in his honour too – he wouldn’t want it any other way. Actually, he probably would just have had a drink without watching – he never had much time for politicians…

Unsurprisingly, there are so many things I would do differently when it comes to my beloved Dad.

I would have urged him to go to the GP sooner to have everything checked out before the cancer took hold. I would have asked more questions and would have insisted on a PET scan earlier then we did. I would have pushed for earlier radiation and chemotherapy.

Of course all of these things would have helped him live a little longer. But there is one thing I would do above all other things if I had the chance to do one thing differently.

Collage of photos of my father

I would go back and spend much more time with him before he fell ill.

I would not have taken his continued presence in my life for granted. I would have visited him more. I would have listened with more care to his stories.

I would have taken the time to have soaked up his unique sense of humour. And the sound of his voice – the voice he lost in December 2014, the voice I haven’t heard in over 18 months now.

I would have spent more time watching him interact with my kids, instead of taking the opportunity to turn off and have a rest myself. I would have taken more photos so I had more memories to treasure.

I would have talked to him more and sought out his views on so many aspects of life. I would have found out more about his family and mine – my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

I would have talked less about me and more about him. I would have offered my help more often. I would have been less self-absorbed.

It’s so easy to say all these things now, with the benefit of hindsight. But I know that I would give anything to just have one more conversation. One more hug. One more smile.

Dad and I -

So yes, the one thing I would do differently now would be to spend all the time I could with my Dad x

What is the one thing you’d do differently?

Make your confession and join in with the fun and the real community we are building here at #imustconfess!

And don’t forget to join in with our #imustconfess community over on facebook. It’s where the confessing continues beyond the linkup. And the best part? You don’t even need to blog or be a blogger to take part!

Join the community!

To help you along with the confessing, here are the future prompts so you have no excuse not to take part each week!

I Must Confess...2016 Prompts -

The Rules…

I Must Confess

– I Must Confess is a link up that runs every Monday and remains live for the whole week.

– You can link up something old or new, we’re not fussy around here.

– Feel free to go with the prompt for the week or add your own confession, whatever suits.

– Please go forth and share the comment love – it is bloggy crack after all!

– We’re always open to suggestions for the weekly prompt


Next weeks’ #imustconfess prompt is – are you on track to meet your goals in 2016?

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25 Responses

  1. Will be thinking of you and your family this week.

    No blog post from this week but I need to address my goals for the year, so I will definitely be coming to the confessional party next week.

  2. Lovely post – I’m glad you’re marking it with family. Take good care of yourself!

  3. Vanessa says:

    I’m still torn as to who to vote for – frankly I don’t think that anyone is really representing a wide range of people and I’m stuck.
    Take care of yourself this week xox

    • Kirsty says:

      While I prefer one end of the spectrum to the other, there are still a few policies, particularly around asylum seekers that I don’t like from either side. I am looking forward to trying out the new senate voting and I’ll be watching that count with interest on Saturday night!

  4. Ness says:

    Your Dad sounds like an awesome guy, and I love that photo of you with him at your wedding. I’m so sorry for your loss, you never get over a loss like that. I dread losing my parents. Sometimes I think I spend too much time with them, but then I realise I’m lucky to have them and the close relationship we have. A lot of people don’t.

    I think I’ve totally misinterpreted this prompt, but meh, doesn’t matter, what I wrote still works.

    • Kirsty says:

      The beauty of all these prompts is their ability to be interpreted and re-interpreted however you like – there is no right or wrong way to confess around here!!!

  5. My one thing would be the same as yours although being so young I never really had control over how much time I got to spend with dad {he was always working}.

  6. I think the beach sounds like a lovely place to go and remember your dad. Thinking of you xxx

  7. I can feel how much you miss your Dad Kirsty and I can also relate so very well. If only we could go back and spend just a little more time with them …. Thinking of you xox

    • Kirsty says:

      I have to state that I was lucky to have as much time as I did in his final months as I’d finished up work a few months beforehand but it would have been nice to have enjoyed him just because I wanted to, rather than because I needed to, if you know what I mean?

  8. jess says:

    This is beautiful Kirsty, don’t we always wish for more time. Hope this week isn’t too rough on you xx

  9. Tory says:

    Thinking of you this week Kirsty. What a beautiful post about your dad.

  10. I’ve waited till now to comment. I really feel for you this week in particular. I am so very sorry about the regrets you have about Dad. I do know though that your dad is within you…and around you and I am sure that brings comfort at times. I am glad you and your brother will be honouring him on Saturday and I I also recall how very upset you were with the storms that attacked the beach where Dad’s ashes were placed in the wreck.
    Kirsty i am voting Gonski and for me that is Labor. I cannot vote to the other mob. I am not going down the minority party this time.
    Take care, this week is one where you need to be even more kind to yourself. Denyse xx

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Denyse – I appreciate your lovely words. And I’ll be voting in accordance with my dreams for education as well as disability funding too. Let’s hope it can make a difference and lead to a much-needed change in government.

  11. My Dad had a minor stroke a couple of weeks ago and has lost some of his vision – may not be able to drive again. My step mum is not a confident driver, so they are taking an hour train trip on Wednesday night to hear me give a presentation as part of the judging for the Redland Women in Business Award (I’m a finalist). How special is that! Appreciating every moment and aware that dad won’t be with us forever …

    • Kirsty says:

      I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, Janet – hoping he stays with you for some time yet x
      But congrats on being a finalist in the business awards – I’d definitely travel an hour on the train to support you. All the best for Wednesday night!!!!

  12. A beautifully written post Kirsty…sometimes I wish we could realise this earlier. Sounds like a lovely way to remember your dad this week. Thoughts are with you and your family. xx
    Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life recently posted..A to Z of me

  1. December 31, 2016

    […] in June, the first anniversary of my father’s passing was hard, as expected, but also strangely comforting. It’s easier now to think of him as he […]

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