I Must Confess…my mixed emotions about spring

I Must Confess...my mixed emotions about spring www.myhometruths.com

I must confess that I usually greet spring with excitement and relief. Excitement that spring signals the start of the “fun” part of the year (yay for sun & imminent holidays!) and relief that the coldest days are behind us.

I don’t do cold very well.

This year, however, I’m not quite as excited to see spring. Relieved, yes, but excited? No.

This winter has been especially hard. It began with the passing of my Dad in June, just over two months ago now. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. Winter was an especially bitter one after he left us – no amount of warmth could help with that.

Then I ruptured my anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) at the start of August and have been hobbling ever since. And then I turned 40 a few days later. Now, I’m not too hung up on the whole turning 40 thing but it really isn’t a birthday that most people greet with joy, is it?

All in all, it’s been a pretty bleak winter. So yes, there is a sense of relief in putting it all behind us.

Except, it’s not all behind us.

Spring starts off with my first Father’s Day without my Dad. I’m already getting teary thinking about it. Then in November, it’ll be Dad’s birthday. He would have turned 76. It’s not going to be an easy time for us.

Then on September 9 I’m scheduled for ACL reconstruction surgery which will see me spend the remainder of spring recovering and undertaking rehabilitation. In some respects I cannot wait for the operation so I can get on the road to recovery again. But then again it’s an operation and I must confess I’m not too keen on those at all.

So that is why I’m greeting spring with mixed feelings this year. I want to look forward to it but there are going to be elements that will be physically and emotionally hard to deal with.

Are you looking forward to spring? If so distract me with your plans and dreams for spring!

And, as always, link up, comment and share in the fun of I Must Confess x


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I Must Confess

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Next week’s prompt – link up your father’s day posts

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27 Responses

  1. What a time you have had. I’m still impressed you made it to ProBlogger with a broken knee. Will be thinking of you this Father’s day and hoping your operation goes smoothly.
    Raych aka Mystery Case recently posted..The importance of building other women up (and scones)

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Raych. I wasn’t going to miss the chance for a child-free weekend or miss a conference I had paid a small fortune to attend! I was possibly more stubborn than anything else so don’t be too impressed!

  2. Will be thinking of you – it’s hard all those markers so soon after your loss. On a positive, the operation will be the success you need…so hang in there!!
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted..Conversations with a Superhero

  3. Cate says:

    oh, man, sorry it’s going to be a tough season for you, but I know you’ll find a bright note somewhere in there.
    Cate recently posted..Hello Monday

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Cate. There is always something to look forward to, even though I’m tempted to just hibernate for spring. Like the warmer weather, school holidays (50% looking forward to those!), Matilda’s 10th birthday and getting my business off the ground. There will be hard parts but I will be okay x

  4. Ness says:

    Understandable that you would have mixed emotions right now. I hope you can find some moments to enjoy the sunshine in spite of it all.
    Ness recently posted..Seven Signs Spring Has Sprung

  5. Oh honey – You are doing so well to just keep on going. On top of all of that I am sure there are the moments when you are internally losing it (maybe even externally losing it) and a small person just pipes up and says “Can I have a vegemite sandwich” – god I remember those early days so well. No words of wisdom just letting you know that if you ever need to reach out – please do not hesitate. Mel xx
    Melanie Greenhalgh recently posted..Signed Anonymous

  6. There is a certain sadness as a season … and eventually a year, and then another year passes … without your loved one. I remember weeping at New Year’s Eve fireworks, knowing my mother would never see the New Year. I don’t have any plans for Spring, sorry to say! Although I’m looking forward to enjoying the warmer weather, all too soon it will be too darn hot; and I’m sad to be putting my winter clothes away, I’m sick of summer stuff probably because I wear it 9 months of the year!
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted..When You Can’t Be There …

    • Kirsty says:

      It’s a part of life and I know the “first” of everything afterwards will be especially hard, – thanks for understanding x

      You never really do get much of a winter up your way, do you? I was marvelling all the Melbourne bloggers at Problogger because they have the layering thing down pat. I would love to live there JUST to be able to learn how to do it for myself!!!

  7. Jo Tracey says:

    I’m yet to put my link up- largely bemoaning the coming of weeds… but reading yours…? You probably don’t feel so strong, but your inner strength comes through your words. Thank you.
    Jo Tracey recently posted..Look up…

  8. I’m looking forward to Spring because my birthdays in October {not that it means much these days}. When I was younger fathers day was always really hard without dad, especially when there were fathers day stalls at school and all the other kids were buying presents for their dads. I hated fathers day for years. The last few have been good though because I can make it all about Trent and bub and their relationship. I know this year will be hard for you but going forward the only thing I can suggest is to focus more on fathers day being about Nathan and the kids because it distracts your mind.
    Toni @ Finding Myself Young recently posted..Lah-Lah live in concert giveaway

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks so much for your insight there Toni. I have been focusing on Nathan this year although I was pretty annoyed when I found out that Gilbert had spent most of the fathers stall money I gave him on himself at the canteen instead!

  9. Julie says:

    You have had a rough lately. Take it easily. I am looking forward to spring and getting rid of all the jumpers and washing that goes with it.
    Julie recently posted..Suze founder of Cherished Cherubs Babysitting

  10. jess says:

    Sorry to hear of all the rough milestones coming your way 🙁 I actually love winter, so I get a bit sad when I have to pack away my blanket capes, coats, beanies…sob. But I’m looking forward to sitting out on my patio in the mornings again and not freezing!
    jess recently posted..The Friday Wrap 28.8.15

    • Kirsty says:

      I love the idea of roaring fires in winter but not the cold mornings and everything that goes with it! Enjoy re-visiting your patio again!!!

  11. I can completely understand you wish for winter to be over but you reluctance to greet the upcoming events of spring. I hope you still take time to enjoy the little things about a new season and to enjoy precious and beautiful memories of your father even though at the moment they also bring some pain and heartbreak.
    Anne@GritandGiggles recently posted..Spring has Sprung

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Anne. I will get there and I’m already enjoying the sense of warmth that has been in air the last few days – sunshine is good for the soul x

  12. Sorry to hear that Spring will be a tough time for you. Take some time to yourself and let yourself grieve/process everything over the next few months. I’m looking forward to Spring as we will be welcoming the newest member of our family, a little baby in early October. Can’t wait to meet the one and experience all those wonderful, overwhelming emotions that is seeing your newborn for the first time x

  13. Holly says:

    No surprise at all your Spring isn’t all positive vibes. Going to be some hard days. We have one of those next month too. First birthday without the person here to celebrate with 🙁 he would have been 3. Celebrate the memories but do what you need to get through as well. Keep loved ones near. -hugs-
    Holly recently posted..August Monthly Wrap Up

  14. Sofia says:

    Kirsty, I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents a couple of years ago and I think of them and miss them every day. To balance the sadness, I think of the wonderful memories I have of them and how grateful I am to have had them as my parents. Life is tough and seems to get tougher as we get older. The only advice I can give is to pass on the advice my Mum gave me just before she died, which is “Life goes by so quickly, enjoy every single day.” I wish you well with your upcoming operation.

  1. August 31, 2015

    […] neatly segues me into todays topic for the Confessional linkup with My Home Truths– What Spring Means to […]

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