I Must Confess…out of the mouths of babes

Out of the mouths of babes

“Mum! Why do you have fur on your front bottom?”

Thankfully I was already hidden away in a toilet cubicle with my then angelic looking 3 year old youngest daughter so I was able to avoid the eyes of the other people in the restroom. Still my cheeks flamed red with embarrassment as I hastily tried to distract Delilah from her careful perusal of my person. I took as long as I dared to dress myself and flush the toilet before finally emerging from my hiding place, hoping anyone who had been there to hear her ask her question had already left.

“I’m going to call my band Go Girl and the Screws!”

Matilda was very proud of the name she had come up with for her band, although Nathan and I had to choke back our laughter when she told us. To this day I still have no idea why she thought calling her band “The Screws” was a good idea or why she thought it was a good name for a girl band. I’m also very confident she still doesn’t understand why her father and I had trouble keeping straight faces that day – still makes me snigger when I think about it!

“It’s like Chinatown in here.”

Gilbert’s innocent yet highly inappropriate observation in a crowded lift at Sydney Airport still haunts me to this day. I did not know where to look or what to say when he uttered that comment. I wanted to shout out “We are not a racist family, honest!” but I thought the better of it. As we were stuck in that lift until we arrived at the next floor there was no escape and it seemed that every single eye in that space turned our way. I have never greeted the opening of elevator doors with more relief than on that occasion, believe me!

“Mum, look at that statue of Hagrid over there.”

We were in the uniform shop at Gilbert’s new ASPECT school that was collocated in a Catholic primary school. Thankfully the uniform shop lady was kind and understanding as I’m doubting the principal (Sr Judith) would have been, had she heard. You see, the statue my son had pointed out had nothing to do with Harry Potter – it was, instead, a statue of Jesus Christ. Apart from the flowing locks and the beard I don’t think many people would normally mistake Jesus for Hagrid but then again it seems we are raising a pagan and a racist family. I couldn’t be more proud…not.

These are just a few examples of some of the crazy, funny and embarrassing things my kids have said over the years. There have been many more but I never think to write them down at the time – do you?

It’s true that kids do say the darnedest things and have a way of delivering the knockout line that rivals any of the top comedians out there. What comes out of the mouths of babes is often pure gold.

Do you have any funny stories to share? What’s the funniest (or most embarrassing) thing you’ve heard a child say?

Leave a comment below and feel free to link up any confession post that you have, old or new. Don’t forget to share in the link love and comment on a few other confessions too.

I’m also sharing the linkup love with Eva and Alicia today – happy Monday everyone x

The Rules…

I Must Confess

– I Must Confess is a link up that runs every Monday and remains live for the whole week.

– You can link up something old or new, we’re not fussy around here.

– Feel free to go with the prompt for the week or add your own confession, whatever suits.

– Please go forth and share the comment love – it is bloggy crack after all!

– We’re always open to suggestions for the weekly prompt!


Next week’s prompt – share the most annoying thing that your partner does (or has done).

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35 Responses

  1. I hear you on the racist stuff. My daughter is learning chinese, and her teacher, who is chinese, keeps apparently saying these things that when repeated thru the mouth of a 5 year old sound really bad! I keep saying “I’m sure that’s not what she said” but she’s adamant she did….
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted..7 words

    • Kirsty says:

      That’s so cool that she’s learning Chinese! My youngest is learning a bit of Japanese at daycare but as she only attends there once a week she’s not really picking up a whole lot of it. I really wish I had’ve taken the time to learn a second language – such an important skill!

  2. Holly says:

    Hehe love it! So far my daughter is too young to be too embarrassing other than telling mummy & daddy they have big bums lately. I swear mines not even that big 😉 but she has the most amazing vocabulary for 2.5 so it’s only a matter of time.
    Holly recently posted..Must Have Winter Baby Essentials

    • Kirsty says:

      That’s cute Holly. Just wait until she says something so innocently that you have to ask her to repeat it, just to make sure. That’s the hallmark of the embarrassing kids comment!!!

  3. Zita says:

    Oh my I am sorry but the Chinatown one cracked me up! Tears laughing! Only because I can imagine the innocence in how it was said but how funny!!! I wish I had of started writing all mine down when I started teaching! I was doing a relief day the other day and a student asked me if I was a teacher in the olden days? When I questioned how long ago the olden days were she stated they were 14 days ago… So yep! It’s official, I was a teacher in the olden days!!
    Zita recently posted..taking stock and counting down

    • Kirsty says:

      The Chinatown comment WAS funny but not when you were stuck in a lift with a group of people who could have taken great offence at it! My kids think I’m ancient too, mainly because there was no such things as DVDs or the internet when I was young!!!

  4. LOL I can totally see how your son mistook a statue of Jesus as Hagrid – especially if it was a really large giant statue (from a child’s perspective) with flowing robes etc 😉
    Min@WriteoftheMiddle recently posted..Mindful Monday: Chip away at those extra elusive little chores!

  5. Absolutely hilarious. We have a long weekend here in Perth so I’m only checking in briefly. I may or may not be back to link up later this afternoon.
    Raych aka Mystery Case recently posted..Finding My Style | Outfit Under $50 Challenge

  6. Haha- the first one! My 2 year old saw me getting out of the shower and said “Mummy look at your fluffy bum!” She is hilarious! 😀
    Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted..Grief, like a hole in the heart.

  7. jess says:

    Haha I loved this! Kids crack me up. My mum has stories of my big and inappropriate mouth as a kid, I once asked mum why a Chinese man had ‘yellow skin’….cringe….
    jess recently posted..Nostalgia: Fiji

    • Kirsty says:

      It’s so innocent yet so uncomfortable, isn’t it? I had one of the kids, years ago, ask a friend of mine if she was pregnant. She wasn’t and it was awkward – there is definitely no tact when it comes to kids!!!

  8. Oh man, that Chinatown comment is hilarious! Punky is just starting to come out with some classics and I keep forgetting to write them down too. I really must! On the weekend we were driving to my sister’s baby shower when we were sideswiped going through a roundabout (it was seriously minor, the driver of the other car didn’t even realise that she’d hit me!) but as I pulled over on the side of the road to compose myself I said out loud “What the hell just happened” and Punky pies up with “I really don’t know Mum!”. Not exactly funny, but under the circumstances her answering my rhetorical question seemed funny to me!
    Kylie Purtell – A Study in Contradictions recently posted..One Perfect Moment {Looking for the Light} | Life

    • Kirsty says:

      That is great! Yes, if you can remember to, write them all down. I’ll note down here that Gilbert cracked me up at the ophthalmologists today. He had to sit still and look at letters and numbers, etc. At the end of it he declared “I have been hypnotised – your will is my command”. Unfortunately I could not get him to promise to clean his room as I didn’t have the power – damn!

  9. These are just wonderful… Kids don’t mean to say these things.. They say it as they see it but often it is offensive .. I hate it when my kids ask” who wis this?” as I sm talking with someone I can’t remember their name
    Natalie @ our parallel comnection recently posted..5 signs you’re putting children under too much pressure.

    • Kirsty says:

      Yes, they have the uncanny ability to ask exactly the question you DON’T want them to ask, don’t they?

  10. haha!! love the things kids say!!
    Mum Of Five Girls recently posted..5 Things I’ve Learnt…..

  11. Sally says:

    Jesus as Hargid – made me giggle a bit! Priceless moments!

    • Kirsty says:

      That was hilarious and completely innocent. I felt bad more as a baptised Catholic (non-practicing these days) who had clearly brought up a pagan child!!!!

  12. Mumma McD says:

    Oh gawd, yep my daughter said very loudly in a shop one day, “mummy does that man have a baby in his tummy?”. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough!!
    Mumma McD recently posted..An interview with Little Miss

    • Kirsty says:

      It’s a thousand times worse when they say it in a loud voice, isn’t it? And kids’ voices have that handy knack of carrying a long way…!

  13. Bub doesn’t really talk much yet but she does have an uncanny ability to look people up and down at the shops and then roll her eyes at them to show her disapproval. She also screwed her face up at an asian lady {I was secretly screaming in my head no she’s not racist honest}.

    We also had a bath together recently and she just kept staring at my hairy front bottom then kept poking the hair like WTF is that lol.
    Toni @ Finding Myself Young recently posted..Why I love my mothers group

    • Kirsty says:

      Hahaha – Delilah is convinced she will not have a hairy front bottom. Or dangly boobs. She’s going to be disappointed in a few years!!!!

  14. Alicia says:

    Kids are never ending source of entertainment, and embarrassment!
    Alicia recently posted..You know the time when…

  15. Talya says:

    LOL! This made me laugh so much! My girl is only 2 but I can only imagine the corkers she is going to come out with in a year. CRINGE! #MummyMondays

  16. Oh wow, this made me laugh! Especially the front bum and Chinatown ones. Gotta love kids! 🙂
    Di from Max The Unicorn recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Just Desserts!

  17. Oh this is too funny! The Chinatown comment reminded me of a clanger I dropped once (not all that long ago!) when we were in Surfers Paradise (which has a LOT of Asian tourists) … feeling hungry I said to the hubster, “Gee, I could murder some Chinese”! He’s never let me forget it either!!!!
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted..5 Things to do when your Kids Leave the Nest

    • Kirsty says:

      That is hilarious Janet! You’ll probably have to live with that for a while yet… So pleased you are back home safe and sound from your own travels. Will be stalking your blog for photos!!!!

  1. September 3, 2015

    […] Linking up with One Mother Hen for Open Slather and My Home Truths for I Must Confess […]

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