I Must Confess…an ode to parenting fails

Parenting fails. We’ve all either been on the receiving end of them or have been the unwitting deliverer of them.

It’s the way of the world.

So I thought for this edition of #imustconfess I would create an ode to parenting fails everywhere and to the generations of parents who have contributed to one of the few constants of life.

Except the beautiful, lilting rhymes of my imagination didn’t quite make it to the page. I guess I was bound to attract a fail of my own with this topic, wasn’t I?

So instead, here’s my top 5 parenting fails, counting down from 5 to 1. Make sure you read this in your best David Letterman voice…

Drunken Mummy featured

Parenting Fail #5

None of my kids can ride a bike without training wheels. We have bought quite a few bikes over the years but we have never been the sort of parents to remember to take the bike with us anywhere or we had yards not conducive to riding so the kids have never really had the chance to learn. The older two have now outgrown their bikes (and are now too big for training wheels) while Delilah has trouble even pushing the pedals on her bike properly.

It is clear we have never mastered the whole “learning to ride a bike” thing. A pretty big parenting fail in my book.

Thank God for scooters though!

Parenting Fail #4

Likewise I’m not happy to confess that none of my kids can tie shoelaces. Matilda has come the closest (she has the benefit of knot tying experience with cub scouts) but Gilbert will probably never learn – especially if we can continue to buy him velcro sports and school shoes. Fine motor skills continue to trouble him and while there are alternatives to tying laces, he is not interested in trying to master something that he finds so difficult and so frustrating.

I have to admit that I haven’t had the mental strength to bring on this battle – we’ve only just got him organised to dress himself each morning so a part of me doesn’t want to stuff everything up because I feel he needs to learn to lace his shoes. Maybe in a few years…

Parenting Fail #3

I know it’s hard to believe but I once forgot to drop Matilda off to daycare. I remember I was pregnant with Delilah at the time and blissfully drove past the turn off for her drop off (which was before Gilbert’s). I didn’t realise that she was still in the car until it was time to drop Gilbert off – thank goodness I had his drop-off to remind me and I didn’t just drive directly to work where I know I would not have checked the back of the car. Suffice to say I was very late to work that particular morning…

BTW I must confess I always feel chills when I hear about tragedies involving children being accidentally left in cars because I KNOW how easy it can be.

It could have been me.

Parenting Fail #2

Falling asleep in a drunken stupor on the floor of Delilah’s room was a real contender for the number 1 position. It was my final day at work and I got plastered – I thought I deserved to let loose after 19 years of faithful service. After consuming more wine in a day that I normally would in a couple of months it was possibly no surprise that I wound up passed out on the floor of my four year old’s room.

It was not my finest moment and I did find it difficult to explain to both girls the next day why I was rude enough to fall asleep while we were in the middle of a game. A game that I don’t recall playing. Thankfully (?) there is photographic evidence of my presence in the room and of the girls tenderly putting me to bed. Apparently I was going to have a sleepover with them. Thank goodness, (for all our sakes!) Nathan saw fit to put me to bed to sleep it all off instead!

Parenting Fail #1

I have unfortunately locked my kids in the car on more than one occasion. The first time saw 2 year old Gilbert stuck in there for a short time until the NRMA made an appearance – they are worth their weight in gold! However the biggest fail was with Delilah. It was a hot day and somehow I dropped my keys while strapping her into her seat. I closed the door, walked around to the driver’s side and then realised with that sinking feeling of dread that I didn’t have the keys. Vigorous pulling on the door handle only confirmed that the car was locked tight.

Thank goodness we were parked outside her daycare – I was able to use their phone to call the NRMA and we were also able to hose down the car while we waited. I tried to make a game out of it for her – I have to admit it’s freaking hard to appear calm and happy and in control for the sake of your 2 year old while inside you are silenting panicking and trying not to hyperventilate with fear. But the NRMA appeared very promptly and I had her in my arms again not a moment too soon.

So that’s my all-time top 5 of parenting fails – do you dare to compare?

What are your biggest parenting fails? Or, instead, do you still carry the burden of failures inflicted on your by your own parents?

C’mon – come clean and make me feel a little better about my own parenting fails!

The Rules…

I Must Confess

– I Must Confess is a link up that runs every Monday and remains live for the whole week.

– You can link up something old or new, we’re not fussy around here.

– Feel free to go with the prompt for the week or add your own confession, whatever suits.

– Please go forth and share the comment love – it is bloggy crack after all!

– We’re always open to suggestions for the weekly prompt!

Next week’s prompt – I think it’s time for some more microconfessions!

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34 Responses

  1. Tegan says:

    Oh that must have been so scary seeing your kids locked in the car and not able to help. When D was about 3 he locked himself in the car after Paul had given him the keys to hold onto. Thankfully we managed to coax him to open the doors and that was the end of letting him have the car keys!
    Tegan recently posted..My 5 Parental Fails

  2. My son locked himself in the car once (with the keys inside). Is that his fail or my fail? He wasn’t upset (and thought our mad panic was hilarious) and the NRMA got him out without having to smash the window, so that was good…When I’d had my third, I had this total panic I’d leave her in the capsule on the footpath (you know when you put it down to help someone in or out)….So many times I’d be driving and shriek ‘Oh my God, is she in the car??’. The kids thought I was weird, as she always was, so maybe that’s the fail?
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted..The luxury of choice

    • Kirsty says:

      I can understand that Lydia. I never left a child on the footpath but I did leave Delilah’s daycare bag on the footpath a few times. I’d have to circle the block and sheepishly come back and collect it again! I told you I only included my top 5 fails today…

  3. I’m always freaked out I’ll accidentally lock bub in the car so I usually tuck my keys into my bra as I’m putting her in so I can’t leave them in the car or lose them. Its not the most graceful place to put them, but its done the job so far.

    I couldn’t even remember what the theme was this week (been a bit out of it over the weekend), but I guess you could call my post an epic parenting fail.
    Toni @ Finding Myself Young recently posted..The moment I thought everything was about to change…

    • Kirsty says:

      That’s a good idea for remembering to keep the keys close to you Toni. I now have a system too – I vow to never lock anyone in the car again!

  4. I am yet to lock my kids in the car. But I did lock my 60kg dog in our Barina once. He was in the back, I left the kyes on the drivers seat. He jumped into the front and promptly sat the keys and locked himself in. Yep. He just sat there. Nothing I could do would make him move. I had to call hubby to come with the spare keys so I could get him out!!
    Fleur @ Our Urban Box recently posted..Newsletter Launch and a freebie!

  5. That would have been so scary locking the kids in the car. I’m off topic this week but at least back to blogging.
    Raych aka Mystery Case recently posted..From The Case Kitchen | Pumpkin Scoop

    • Kirsty says:

      It’s so good to see you back on deck Raych. As you know, topic or no topic, I love seeing posts linked up – I’m pretty cruisy when it comes to the linkup!

  6. Ness says:

    Our boys can’t really ride bikes either. I think it’s mainly because I’m too panicky to let them ride on the street. That means I’d have to take them to a park or somewhere, and like you, I usually forget or don’t get around to it. Only my middle boy can tie shoelaces. Well, the eldest can. sort of, but he’s slow and awkward with it. I can’t remember ever accidentally locking them in the car, but once I went shopping with my Mum when Mr 13 was a newborn and put his pram and everything in the car, then got in the car. My Mum said “Haven’t you forgotten something?” Yep, I’d forgotten the baby! Your top fail had me laughing! PMSL
    Ness recently posted..Parenting Fail

    • Kirsty says:

      The old forgetting the baby trick – I’m sure I’ve done that too but I’ve conveniently put it out of my mind!

  7. 1. I too have locked my child in the car after I checked him out of hospital minus his tonsils, adenoids but with some grommets inserted. He was drugged to the eyeballs so I could get him home and was no help! I called the NRMA and they were there within 7 minutes. But it then took them another 30 minutes to get into car. He woke up and started freaking out. I was freaking out the NRMA man was sweating and we were all in a state. But all ended well except for the mother guilt I still carry to this day.
    2. Possibly the biggest parenting fail I have ever had was when hubby and I went grocery shopping with the brand new baby, we got home unpacked the groceries and started cooking dinner. I asked him where he had put Google down (in the bassinet in the Sunroom or in her bassinet in our room). He looked at me like I had two dicks hanging from my head and said “Where did you put her down?” That’s when we both started running and fighting to get through the front door. We jumped down from a 1 metre brick wall (rather than take the path) and found her fast asleep in the unlocked car sitting in our driveway. parenting FAIL!
    3. The funniest parenting FAIL was when I was at my mum’s and playing aeroplanes with Google – I lifted her above my head on the lounge and smashed her face straight into the glass window. My mum was laughing, I was crying and Google was screaming.
    I can tell you I have had so many parenting fails on all my kids but really Google is the one still lucky to be alive because she was out guinea pig!
    In four days it will be Friday again! Mel xx
    Melanie Greenhalgh recently posted..The first ‘Change of Life’

  8. Jess says:

    Thankfully I don’t remember any of the parenting fails inflicted onto me-so your kids probably won’t remember either! Here’s hoping?
    Jess recently posted..The Friday Wrap 13.3.15

    • Kirsty says:

      You know, I couldn’t think of any from my parents either – fingers crossed they will forget about all of these when they are older and will not require therapy to get over them!!!

  9. Zita says:

    Oh my how scary for you!
    I recently found out my oldest nephew (11) has only just learnt to tie his shoelaces and I’ll admit to being more than a little shocked! I understand why you wouldn’t want to go there with Gilbert at this stage, in time I’m sure it will happen!
    Zita recently posted..for the final stretch

    • Kirsty says:

      I hope we finally get there too Zita but it’s in the same basket as cursive writing – if he can do without it it’s not worth the pain or the hassle trying to get him to do it. Fingers crossed he will get there one day…

  10. No.2 is funny. I just did this on the weekend (we’ll sort of) , I was telling one of my kids off for online misbehaviour ( after a few wines) and then next day had to go back and do it all again because I forgot the entire conversation… My hubby just shook his head
    Natalie @ our parallel comnection recently posted..To my non blogger friends – What’s blogging all about?

    • Kirsty says:

      It doesn’t look good, does it? Very funny though – I still have no recollection of that night, only my husband’s blog post about it!!!!

  11. hahaha love it! I luckily havent done any of these yet as my daughter is only 6months old. But I am bound to hit all of these fails eventually! lol
    Luisa @ Looking for mama me recently posted..9 Family Budget Tips you can do now!

    • Kirsty says:

      Unfortunately I think we are all bound to have parenting fails from time to time….I just hope there are not too many more in front of me!

  12. You are a winner in my eyes no matter what. My parenting fails are far too many to count, but most of them involve the lack of cooking, craft and cleaning skills – none of my kids know what an iron is!! x
    Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me recently posted..Top 5 writer hacks.

  13. Krystle says:

    I’m expecting any day to have a major parenting fail. With the addition of baby number 3 roughly 2 months ago, every week I feel the sleep deprivation building and the general lack of concentration with a lot of things. Trying to adapt to my eldest starting school and some days I think my head will explode! I guess most of us do the best we can with the skills we have, and ultimately some days we’re just better skilled 🙂
    Krystle recently posted..Welcome!!

  14. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone in the parenting fails department! And as for the shoelace tying thing, part of being a good parent is knowing your child and what’s best for them – and you know that in the scheme of things, shoelace tying is really not that important.

    I’m a bit off topic in my linkup this week but it’s still about parenting – I’ve written a couple of posts before of my epic parenting fails. You can read them here: http://www.middleagedmama.com.au/why-ill-never-win-parent-of-the-year/ and here: http://www.middleagedmama.com.au/more-bad-mummy-moments/ 🙂
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted..Farewell to a Fashion Favourite

  15. Neda B says:

    Haha! Sounds a lot like my parents failures. I suppose the only ones that matter are those that the children remember. Not learning to ride a bike was very frustrating! I had to pursue it on my own at the age of 12. To this day I’m a weak cyclist and avoid it if I can…
    There was no drunken pass out but my mum did drive off in the car while the door was open and smashed it right into a pole. That wasn’t much of a failure though because i was stoked to miss out on school! 😀
    Neda B recently posted..Fatteh

  16. Kirsty loving all those confessions because you are making me feel normal.
    I think the things we forget to do make us better parents, we usually don’t do them more than twice, hehehe.
    Thanks for the giggles.
    Have a great weekend! xx
    Dannielle@Zamamabakes recently posted..Fabulous Foodie Fridays #43

  17. Mumma McD says:

    My best/worst parenting fail (so far) is driving to my mum’s with newborn in tow – an hour later when we arrive I realise that, while baby is buckled into capsule, capsule is NOT buckled into car!!
    Mumma McD recently posted..The other F word

  18. I’ve had a few parenting fails that could have ended up in disaster! It’s full on being a parent and being on the ball all the time! X
    Bec @ The Plumbette recently posted..Essential Baby Equipment to make mum sane and baby safe – Safety 1st Wanderer Stroller + Giveaway

  19. What a great post for I confess! God, we have all been there and it is always refreshing for someone to share the fails with kids (that happen all the time) versus making out that everything is all fine. Thank you for being so honest. P.S Love the drunken stupor on the floor!

  20. LOL. Love the drunkin’ one and for a moment you had me scared with the whole forgot to drop child off at daycare scenario. Don’t like those stories at all, but thankfully yours went a different way. What a fun I Must Confess!
    Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad recently posted..The Bully I Know

  21. kathy says:

    I feel I fail as a parent when I yell at my kids, so that is one I’m working on. I feel bad for you over the locked in the care experience with Delilah – so easy to happen though. I know my kids have heard me babble from too many drinks are few times.
    kathy recently posted..A definition of success

  22. I don’t think riding bikes with training wheels or tying shoelaces count as parenting fails! Surely not.
    Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages recently posted..Friday Favourite Six Little Hearts

  1. September 5, 2016

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