Back to Life

It’s been a while since I’ve filled you in on the minutiae of my life so I feel it’s time to catch you all up on what has been happening in my world.

It's the little things

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You may have noticed a lack of posts about our house build. That would be due to the fact that we have decided not to proceed with building and have instead accepted an offer on our land.

Why did we make such a u-turn? Quite simply, it’s bloody tedious and stressful and painful to deal with builders. I knew, deep down, that I just did not have the mental or emotional strength to go through with it and once I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I knew that it would not be fair on any of us to push on.

So we have cut our losses and are now looking at buying an established house instead. Thankfully our expectations have changed in the last year and there seems to be more options out there for us. Let’s hope we can find something that will serve us for the next 10 years or so!

While we’re on the whole anxiety and depression issue, I headed back to my GP this week for a follow up visit. It’s been a month since I first saw her and she wanted to check how I was doing and how the medication was going. We’re going to keep monitoring things for another few months and I will start seeing a psychologist to really try to cut through my issues.

As I wrote a few weeks ago, I’m still not quite right and while I am functioning, I’m still not really living. I’ve been able to make some small changes to my life but the essentials remain the same. I am still busy, I am still a control freak, I still have a martyr complex and I am still a worry-wort. I doubt I can change my personality traits but I’m hoping to get some help to change my approach to dealing with stress.

I also have to see a specialist as blood tests have revealed that I have antibodies consistent with coeliac disease. I underwent a biopsy a few years back as I tested positive for them then as well, but the biopsy didn’t show up anything. My bloodwork this time contains higher levels of antibodies so it looks like I’ll have to have another biopsy to see what’s what.

In other news, Gilbert is stressed to the eyeballs after the strain of NAPLAN last week and has been finding it difficult to deal with the smallest of issues. Matilda continues to be obsessed with all thing Minecraft and Delilah is developing some definite and inconvenient opinions on her wardrobe (i.e. she refuses to wear anything that I pick out for her!)

So now you know what’s going on in my world, what’s the latest in yours?



Linking up with Grace for FYBF and Miss Cinders for Things I Know.

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25 Responses

  1. Glad to hear you are following things up and hoping things start improving for you. Building can be rather stressful, so I think you’ve done the right thing there. Lots of luck with the house hunting.
    Mystery Case recently posted..Choosing Your Wedding Photographer

  2. None of this is meant to sound flippant, so please read with the intent meant (I worry that my briefness comes out badly).
    Firstly, good luck with the house hunting. While you may’ve wanted to build, I don’t know how anyone does it. we just changed a back wall and it too like 6 weeks or something that felt that long and made me hate being in the house, and totally changed my mood. So you did the right thing, I say. Good for you!
    Secondly, day by day – it will come, just keep doing little things to improve, it’s a slow process, but as long as you are making that effort, it will come good without you noticing (a big instantaneous shift)
    Lastly, worth remebering Naplan is to help the teachers see what the kids DON’T know, and what they need to be teaching. (Unless you are trying to get into Private school, the results don’t matter)
    In Cyber Junkie, a great read for those looking at addiction, he says that talking about computer games gives the same payoff as actually playing them – it releases the same chemicals etc – that’s why they can talk endlessly about them…
    Lastly, I hear you on the clothes – what the hell is wrong with girls??? Mine changes her outfit about 5 times a day and we argue every morning about what to wear – I don’t really care but it is too cold for a tutu.
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted..What I learnt from the Voices of 2013 Masterclass…

    • Kirsty says:

      I love your comment Lydia – very good points there. As far as the house goes, I knew deep down that it wasn’t the right decision to proceed and I do feel at peace with it now. Going along day by day is a good start for me to get better – I’m just an impatient type who wants to feel normal yesterday! I was surprised that NAPLAN turned into such a big deal for my boy – I didn’t realise that he put so much pressure on himself to do well. Thanks for that reference to Cyber Junkie, very interesting – explains a lot about how my girl deals with her special interest. And the clothes – they will be the death of me, I swear!

  3. I believe that my dalliance with depression was a result of many years of feeling unwell and not really realising it, pushing through it and eventually succumbing to it after the depression hit.
    I wonder if it may be the same for you and that should you be diagnosed with Celiac Disease that it may be the start of recovery. One because you can alter things to make you feel better physically and with that hopefully it should bring about a change in your psyche too.
    I truly hope things start to turn around from you.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now
    Take Charge Now recently posted..Finding your passion

  4. I’m hearing you on the whole meltdown post NAPLAN.

    I have TEM10 home today due to only finding out yesterday about a mufty day today… needless to say while she’s been ‘recovering’ from NAPLAN she didn’t need the change in normal school routine so quickly. I have one massive meltdown happening in my house this morning! I was fully exhausted by 8am.

    I think you made the right choice where the house was concerned. I think you are brave and were truthful to yourself when you made the decision 🙂 Good on you!

    MC x
    Miss Cinders recently posted..things i know #26

    • Kirsty says:

      I understand that so well – Gilbert has not been able to cope with anything at all this week and the meltdowns have been thick and fast. I’m hoping he recovers some sort of calm soon – hoping your TEM10 can find some balance too.

  5. Me says:

    WOW – a big decision but so glad you made it and went with what was right for you. I would love to build a house but also think that the stress would be too much for me.
    When I was battling anxiety I found that talking to a psychologist really did help – I hope that you find the same thing.
    Take care of yourself and go safely !
    Love, hugs and positive energy !
    Me recently posted..Things I Know

    • Kirsty says:

      I have been to psychologists in the past and they have helped but for some reason I’ve been a little reluctant to take that first step this time. Not sure why, but I have made the appointment now and I know I need to talk to someone to really make some headway this time around. Thanks for the positive energy, I need every bit I can get!

  6. Janet says:

    I think you made the right decision – building is incredibly stressful. As I am trying to remind the hubster at the moment as we are thinking about the whole building/moving thing, as we are needing more space (especially for cars!) now our kids are almost grown.
    Janet recently posted..Blame it on the Bloggers – Recipe Edition

    • Kirsty says:

      I still want to have a go at building one day Janet, just not right now. Maybe we’ll take the leap once the kids are grown – I’ll be watching your progress with interest if you do end up building again!

  7. Good that you and your doc are in regular contact and things are being monitored. One step at a time …
    Decision re house sounds like a good one!
    Oh, and minecraft is an obsession in our house too. Personally, I just don’t get it … but at least it’s helping with their creativity and town planning prowess!
    Happy Friday
    and best wishes
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted..Day 1328 – Getting enough sleep

    • Kirsty says:

      Leeane, I don’t get minecraft at all. I have no idea what the point is or how you do anything in it, yet my 7yo daughter seems to be a whiz – she doesn’t get it from me!

  8. ann says:

    I hope things settle down for you soon. I know the stress of building very well. Nearly 2 and a half years, a trip to the consumer tribunal and a new builder we finally got a house built. I wish we had found our great builder first. Still everything happens for a reason, right?
    ann recently posted..Things I Know – 24/5/13 umm how is it the end of May already!!

    • Kirsty says:

      Ann, your story just convinces me that we have made the right decision – I couldn’t deal with the stress of even more issues on top of the base stress involved with building! I’m glad your story had a happy ending – I hope you’re enjoying life in your home now!

  9. Oh Kirst, wow a week! And we have built and it’s VERY stressful, we did it without kids and it was still bad – so maybe you did the right thing. Sorry to hear about your health probs, I hope you get an answer.
    As for me, lost my major work contract, hubby less hours also so I’m having to think of ways to tighten and earn more. Kids, well that’s another post altogether. Hang in there girl, I think of you heaps! x

    • Kirsty says:

      Oh Em, so sorry to hear about your week – there’s not much more stressful than having to worry about money. I hope you can both pick up more work soon – thinking of you too!

  10. Francesca says:

    Although your health isn’t the best right now, I’m glad to hear you’re getting advice and help along the way.

    I’m a little scared about these building horror stories in the comments above, as we’re contemplating embarking on our own building journey (maybe)…

    My world? Work is a little stressful, the kids are good when they’re not tired and grumpy and my book is done but I have a long road ahead to publish it. In a word: busy 🙂
    Francesca recently posted..Thankful for Thursdays

    • Kirsty says:

      Good luck with the publishing road Francesca – that is very exciting! Hope things slow down a little for you too – busy can be fun but it can also be so very exhausting, can’t it?

  11. Grace says:

    Oh, love…big hugs. It’s good to hear that you’re in good contact with your GP. And I think it’s wise not to take on any added stress at this stage. Think of buying an established house as a blessing in disguise.
    Grace recently posted..FYBF – Damn you, Dora!!!

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Grace. I’ll be right and I’m looking at it in a positive way – everything happens for a reason, hopefully I’ll end up with something better than what we would have built anyway!

  12. Lisa Wood says:

    Maybe buying an established house is a really good thing – because all of the teething problems would have been dealt with instead of building from scratch! Kinda like never buying a new car but buying one that is already broken in 🙂
    Glad you are getting sorted with doctors etc. Take it easy, and be kind to yourself.
    Hope you are able to get answers, and move forward with more happy times xx
    And the Naplan test, its a waste of time. They don’t really reflect the kids individually but more reflects the school/teachers – so forget about it 🙂
    Lisa Wood recently posted..The Best Night Sleep

  13. E. says:

    I hope that Gilbert recovers from NAPLAN soon. I know my NT girl had nightmares about it before she did it.

    Brave decision about not building right now. I hope that you find your dream home soon.

    Look after yourself. Maybe it’s time to talk to a professional.
    E. recently posted..Grateful 26 May 2013

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