I Must Confess…I am not Superwoman

Welcome to another round of revelations, secrets and confessions as part of I Must Confess. Thanks, as always, to all of you who come back week after week for more. It makes me feel a little better to know I am not the only over-sharer around these parts!

This week’s prompt is all about your earliest memory of childhood. As you can tell I’m actually not going with the prompt this week (it is, after all, only a prompt) but I’m looking forward to seeing what early memories some of you are planning to share.

I’ve made no secret of the fact I have been struggling lately, with pretty much everything. I’ve tried to be upbeat and not dwell too much on that here but the time has come to get some of this stuff off my chest.

You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I am not superwoman. There, I’ve said it.

You Can Do Anything But Not Everything

 image source

For many years I have tried to do it all and have it all but it really is not possible. Being a working mother sucks. It really does. Most of the time I take it on the chin and keep on going. Luckily I have a martyr complex so it sort of comes easily to me…

But right now, if I could afford to leave my job I would walk right out and never look back.

I have never felt this way before. I have always enjoyed my job. I have always innately known that I needed to work outside the home, that remaining at home would not be enough to fulfill me.

However, the stress of working 5 days a week (I only work 5 hours a day so, yes, I am part-time but it’s still 5 days outside the home), the pressure of caring for 3 kids (2 with special needs), the demands of trying to build a house, the weight of blogging and the day-to-day tasks that I need to keep up with around the home are just proving too much right now.

I feel empty. Apart from the big ball of anxiety that has made it’s home in my stomach, of course. Everywhere I look there is something to do or somewhere to be or something to think about. The noise in my head is deafening and lately I can’t find a way to escape it.

I would love to find some release on the blog but time and energy and motivation have all been MIA lately. The posts that I want to write just don’t seem to want to be written and I’ve fallen behind in commenting and participating fully in other linkups too.

I suppose I feel if I could just let go of something (work preferably) then things would be easier and I would be better able to cope with my life. It’s a wonderful dream but not that practical right now so I need to look at other options in my control instead.

First up, I’m having a week off work next week to recharge my batteries. Hopefully we’ll get away for a few days to just ‘be’ and I’ll be able to soak up time with the family and actually enjoy them. Maybe I’ll even be able to slow down a little bit, for a little while, at least. Hopefully.

I’ve also finally got an appointment with my GP, a long overdue and long awaited visit. I know now that I need help in order to find a better way to cope with the demands of my life. Let’s hope she can put me in the right direction.

And I’m going to take a step back from the blog, starting with a short blogging break next week. So there will be no I Must Confess next Monday April 22 but it will be back Monday April 29. I will be maintaining this linkup because it does mean a lot to me and I would hate to see it fold. But I will be stepping back from other linkups and more regular blogging until I sort myself out.

I will also be seeking your suggestions for future prompts for I Must Confess. To this point I have been setting the tone but I would love for this community to have some input as well. So hit me with your confession prompts and we’ll start working through them.

The prompt for the next round on Monday April 29, as suggested by the lovely Raychael from Mystery Case, is all about bad hair. Come clean with some of the worst hairstyles you have sported over the years, preferably with pictorial evidence!

So that’s my long winded confession for the week – if you have read this far, well done! And now you will be rewarded with your chance to get something off your chest. You know the drill – fess up, link up and find out what everyone else is sharing this week.

The Rules…

I must confess with My Home Truths

– I Must Confess is a link up that will be happening every Monday and will remain live for the whole week.

– You can link up something old or new, we’re not fussy around here.

– Feel free to go with the prompt for the week or add your own confession, whatever suits.

– Please go forth and share the comment love – it is bloggy crack after all!

 

Prompt for Monday 29 April – share the worst of your bad hair!



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18 Responses

  1. Mystery Case says:

    Hi Kirsty, really pleased you are having a break and hoping that it helps. Please email me if you need/want to talk, you were an amazing help to me when I was having a bit of a blogging melt down and I’d love to repay the favour.

    I’m rather nervous about my childhood memory, but hopefully it will provide someone out there with a few laughs.

    Have a relaxing week, I will be thinking of you.

    Raych (aka Mystery Case)
    Mystery Case recently posted..What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger….

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Raychael – I really do appreciate your support. Hopefully slowing down a little and having a little break from the blog will be just what I need. BTW, I LOVED your post today – it gave me a chuckle!

  2. Jules says:

    I want to reach through the screen & give you a big hug. Hugs do help you know.

    I could have written your post word for word. Everything seems to be too much for me lately & from someone who used to be so strong, it makes those feelings even worse.

    Enjoy your break. Hopefully you can recharge those flat batteries. Take care. xo
    Jules recently posted..M is for Manic Monday

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Jules – I’m sad to hear you are feeling the same but at least I don’t feel quite so alone in my struggles. Hoping we can both move through this and become happy again. Take care!

  3. Janet says:

    Oh I do understand, life happens sometimes. Hope you are feeling better soon and hopefully the doctor will be able to help you find your mojo again!
    Janet recently posted..Man on the Moon!

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Janet. I have to admit defeat and accept I can’t do this on my own – hoping that my GP can help me work through this and find my normal self again. Thanks for playing along again this week!

  4. My heart goes out to you Kirsty, I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, kids, blogging maintaining household, being nice to husband, friendships and not getting cranky at kids. It’s so hard for us mums, who want to have it all but there just isn’t enough energy and time for us to do it all. I wish you a peaceful week off, where you can gather your thoughts, and make a plan to find a way forward. Hugs, lots of fantastic karma and a big ‘high five’ for doing something about it all before it got too later/hard! See you on the flipside – Em xxx
    Emily @ Have a laugh on me recently posted..My friends know I make inappropriate comments and never refuse a bubbly

  5. Lisa says:

    Hi Kirsty, I hope you get a well-deserved break, we will miss you! Can you drop a day at work for awhile or something to ease things a little bit? Mums try to be all to everyone, so I am glad you are taking care of yourself now.
    Lisa recently posted..Monday’s Confession Time

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks for that Lisa. I am considering a few options at the moment but will wait to see the GP before I make a firm decision on things. I’m sure it will all work out in the end – I might be at a low ebb but I’m still trying with all my might to see the positives!

  6. Rhianna says:

    Oh lovely, sending all the fairy wishes and butterfly kisses I have your way. I am a huge failing as a housewife and I don’t even have the excuse of work or special needs kids. I, like everyone here, think you are awesome. Enjoy your week off and get lots of rest. We will still be here when you come back. Much love to you lovely
    Rhianna recently posted..I must confess some of my crazy thoughts

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Rhi – I dislike complaining about my life but I already feel better for getting this off my chest. Hoping to be back in a happier and more positive frame of mind soon!

  7. Gawee says:

    Hang in there lovely. I know exactly how you feel, although I Must Confess that I feel somewhat guilty for feeling this way as I don’t have the whole kid-wrangling or house-building things to factor in!

    Looking forward to our luncheon catch-up tomoz. We’ll have a good debrief I’m sure.

    And remember, you are not just awesome, you are super awesome.

    G. xx
    Gawee recently posted..Memories of matchbox cars

    • Kirsty says:

      I’m there for lunch tomorrow. And I will try not to overload you too much with my complaints! Thanks for linking up this week, my friend.

  8. Ness says:

    Sorry to hear you’re struggling. I find it hard enough coping with my 3 boys and the house without working. I know you’d find me somewhere sobbing in a foetal position if I has to go work as well. I’m glad you’re getting help and I’m sending huge hugs to you. Hope you’re feeling a lot better very soon.

    I’m feeling like I need a bloggy break too, so I kind of cheated and linked up my post from last week for Flashback Friday as it is still about childhood memories. Hope that is okay. xo
    Ness recently posted..Sundays With Laurie

  9. Trish MLDB says:

    I hope the break refreshes and renews your spirit. I think the superwoman is one big myth.
    Trish MLDB recently posted..Bush to beach with boys on board.

  10. Shari says:

    I confess to feeling the same way too Kirsty – and often. We don’t have to be superwomen … just our best and you already are all that and more. Take it easy and I hope the week’s break brings some good energy for you xxx
    Shari recently posted..Fight the frazzle with these stress busting techniques!

  1. May 17, 2013

    […] Although it’s the centre of our lives and the place the we relax and do as we please, the home can also be the most chaotic place, even if it’s very enjoyable. Sometimes it gets difficult to manage all of the things that we are expected to do and all of the demands that are made of us. […]

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