Yeah, I’m Still Alive…

Hey there! Yes it’s been a while between posts. Real life has a painful habit of just getting in the way sometimes, doesn’t it? 😉

I’ve enjoyed the last week off work but there hasn’t been a lot of time to rest. I think I need another week off to recover – sad, but true. I am hoping that work is not quite as stressful when I return as it has been a huge source of stress and anxiety for me lately. Fingers crossed things are a little easier when I return on Tuesday.

So why was my week off so huge? First off, there was the school excursion to Taronga Zoo earlier in the week. There will be a post or two, I promise, but for now here are some teaser photos to keep you going:

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Gilbert’s birthday has finally been and gone although I am sure that he would have dragged it out for even longer if he could have. First there was his party last weekend, followed up with his actual birthday on Thursday. I still can’t believe that he’s 9, that just completely blows me away…

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Then there were the birthday preparations which were nearly as taxing as the party preparations! I ended up baking and decorating a gluten free cake for the family plus 36 cupcakes for Gilbert’s class as well. Exhausting. But worth it.

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Did I mention the Easter hat making? Nathan came up with the idea of using cardboard to make hat bands so as to not damage his funky hats. Then we glued whatever was remotely Easterish – little chickens, cotton wool, letters and sparkles (there ALWAYS has to be sparkles ;))

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To top the week off I had a quick catch-up with a dear friend (something I need to do more of) and then finished off with a trip to a lighting and blinds store to get some quotes for the new house. That whole process (the house build) needs a post on it’s own. Suffice to say, things have been slow, disappointing and stressful but we’re hoping to get things moving in the right direction very soon.

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Most of the bedroom windows are going to look like these with some practical neutral looking roller blinds

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I’m thinking of a row of these over my kitchen island – image source

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And these fans will be throughout the house – BTW I love the look of this room – image source

I am now attempting to get some rest over the Easter long weekend so I can return to real life next week with some degree of calm and composure. You have probably got the idea that I have been busy and stressed and completely overwhelmed lately. Given the current state of my mind I have finally made the decision to see my GP to get some help. I’m starting to see some worrying signs as set out in this post and, deep down, I know I should not be feeling quite this overwhelmed all of the time.

I want to be happy and healthy and excited to be alive. I want to be there, really there, for my kids. I want to be a supportive and loving wife. I want to look forward to things, instead of dreading every day.  I want to relish and savour every moment, instead of putting my head down against the storm and just surviving.

Basically I want to be me, not this shadow of me that I have become.

I may have to take a bit of a blogging break soon, for my own sanity, but I’ll see where I’m placed after I see the GP. Blogging is always a little bit of a two-edged sword for me. On the one hand I need the outlet to get my words and feelings out there, but on the other hand it can sometimes feel like another obligation that needs to be fulfilled…it’s never easy, is it? I will certainly let you know if I do end up being absent for a little while.

In the meantime I’m scheduling some posts for the blog for the coming week. Tomorrow I will be continuing on my alphabet journey through my musical musings (we’re up to F now), Monday will see me confessing to the vast array of devices and computers that we own (it’s not pretty!), Tuesday will be all about World Autism Awareness Day and then later in the week I’m hoping to share some of the amazing experiences we had at the zoo as well.

Also, you’ll note the link below to Bloglovin. If you are interested in following the blog, particularly given the imminent closure of Google Reader, well here is the perfect chance for you to do so. You can also follow me via Feedburner and receive each post in your inbox (see the subscription box to your right). And you know you can also stalk me on Facebook and Twitter – I won’t be weirded out if you do!

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So that’s that for now. I feel better for getting you all up to speed and hopefully I will get my life and my mind in order very, very soon!

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Belatedly linking up with Miss Cinders for Things I Know!

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17 Responses

  1. Annie says:

    Hi Kristy,

    Well done with the cake and cupcakes they look great. Love the zoo photos meerkats are so funny. The Easter hats are a great idea.
    I’m so sorry that you are feeling that way. I have been there too and know how awful it can be. I got the help that I needed I am so glad that I did I have changed the way I communicate and am still learning about changing my thinking. There is a great book called ‘Change your thinking’ by Sarah Edelman it has really helped me she also has a great range of relaxation cd’s that are really nice too. I know it’s hard to find the time but I always tell myself that if I am not well how can I be a good Mother and Wife. Do you have extended family that can help? Do whatever you need to to feel yourself again and don’t feel guilty you are doing it for yourself and your family.
    The work stress is awful my husband is stressed out of his mind with work at the moment, we barely see him so we were really glad to have a long weekend too.
    Good luck Darl, you are not alone. Happy Easter to you and your family.

    Love Annie xo
    Annie recently posted..The Toddler Tango

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks so much Annie. I have been sliding for a while but I’ve been trying to manage it myself and was in a bit of denial, I guess. My reaction to recent events and how I’m generally feeling right now show that I have to take action so I can get better, for myself and for my family. Thanks for the recommendation about the book, I will definitely look it up. I appreciate your words – thank you so much!

  2. Mystery Case says:

    Thanks for linking up on my Easter Saturday blog hop! I know what you mean with blogging being a two-edge sword. Not sure I can stay on topic for I confess this week, as I too am needing some time out and have a friend or two doing a few guest blogs this week.

    Have a wonderful and relaxing Easter with your family.

    Raych (aka Mystery Case)
    Mystery Case recently posted..Worth Casing – Perth Blogs

  3. Kirsty says:

    Look after yourself Raych – if you need a break, take it. I’m thinking that I will need to start taking my own advice as well…obviously easier said than done, however 😉

  4. Debyl1 says:

    Good on you Kirsty for doing something to help how you are feeling.You are both brave and strong and should be proud of that
    I hope things improve for you soon.
    Thinking of you.Big warm hugs.x

  5. Kirsty says:

    Thanks so much. It has been a long time coming but I now know what I have to do – thanks so much for your kind words and for your support!

  6. Shari says:

    Oh Kirsty – what a whirlwind! There’s been a lot going on!
    So very glad you are taking some wonderful steps to support yourself and hope that you find things get better very soon. I’ve been at that point too and know that it can fall into place once support mechanisms are put in. Big cyber hugs your way xxx
    Shari recently posted..Happy Easter from my chocoholic to yours!

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Shari. It’s great to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way and I’ll take all the cyber hugs I can get!

  7. Janet says:

    Love Taronga Zoo! Hope you are feeling better and on top of things again soon xxx
    Janet recently posted..5 Reasons Why Chocolate is Good For You

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Janet – I already feel better for getting some of it out there but I’m hoping that slowing things down will help me feel more like me again soon!

  8. Miss Cinders says:

    My goodness girly you have been busy!

    Well done on the birthday week! And a belated Happy Birthing Day to you, and Happy Birthday to Gilbert!

    Time flies by before you know it huh. My baby just turned 8 a week ago, insane!

    Enjoy your bloggy break. It honestly is a great break when you can actually stay away – yeah I never can!

    Thanks for linking up lovely 🙂
    MC xxx
    Miss Cinders recently posted..Self-hosted blog? What your host should give you + FTP tutorial

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks for that. I’m the same when it comes to blogging breaks but we’ll see how I go if I do leave it for a while – I’m hoping reducing my commitment to the blog will be enough to get me through but we’ll see…

  9. Big hugs hon. I am thinking of you.

    I totally understand all you wrote xxx
    Deb @ home life simplified recently posted..Continuing to grow

  10. Me says:

    I totally get where you are coming from – I am sort of there at the moment. Half blogging half not – trying to be kind to myself because I know that that is the best thing I can do for me.
    I am only an e-mail or phone call away if there is anything I can do.
    Take care and look after yourself – you are too important not to.
    Love, hugs and positive energy !
    Me
    Me recently posted..Things I Know

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks so much for that – it’s so good to know that other people do understand what I’m feeling. Some days are okay and others are not so good and then I keep second guessing myself and wondering whether I’m over-thinking things and questioning whether I am actually okay or not….

      No wonder I’m exhausted and having trouble sleeping…I really am my own worst enemy sometimes 😉

  1. March 31, 2014

    […] March we were still planning on building a house; deciding whether to stay in our rental house or find […]

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