Appreciating Me Again

Yesterday was a big day for me. It was a day I had looked forward to for years. For the first time, in a long time, I was able to fit into my dream pair of jeans. My skinny jeans.

I think we all have an item of clothing in our wardrobe that we aspire to wear one day. It may be an old favourite or something brand new, but it beckons to you as you embark on your weight loss journey.

It may jeer and laugh at you when you’re feeling low and inspire and encourage you when you’re on a roll. But it’s always there, either a beacon of light or a dreaded black hole at the back of your wardrobe.

Well, these jeans were that beacon for me. I bought them 5 years ago on a trip to Canberra with my husband. I was at my goal weight and feeling great. I actually bought 2 pairs of them, they were that flattering and comfortable. The other pair (that admittedly had a LOT more stretch than my dream pair) bit the dust earlier this year after much wear but my dream pair are still in good nick from far less use.

My slow and steady weight gain began not long after that trip away. I broke my little toe after colliding with Gilbert’s heel (it was bloody painful!) and the subsequent lack of exercise as I made my slow recovery started me on that slippery slope of weight gain. Two Autism diagnoses, a bout of depression and a third pregnancy in the following years conspired to make things worse.

Before I knew it, I was 5 years older, nearly 15kgs heavier and desperately unhappy with my look and my life. I found myself wearing unflattering clothes to hide my body, I was eating my own oversized meals plus snacking off the kids’ plates, I no longer exercised and I believed I had no willpower to make any lasting change to my life.

Worse still, my confidence in my capabilities in all spheres of my life was at an all-time low. Looking back, I really could not have appreciated myself less.

Apologies for the blurry image (courtesy of my lovely Matilda Bear) but this is me in August 2012, 2 weeks into my weight loss journey

Finally making the decision to take charge of my weight and make a real change was hard, but it’s been so worth it. Since starting on a Weight Watchers at Work program in July I have lost 9.6kgs and I am now nearing my goal weight. For the first time in a long time I feel good. I feel healthy. I feel proud of my body.

And I can finally fit into those dream pair of jeans again!

Me in November 2012, 15 weeks into my weight loss journey

Most importantly, I’ve regained my confidence, my belief in myself and my willpower.  I have rediscovered my love of exercise and my love for myself. I hope to never take my body, my health or my self-esteem for granted ever again.

I’m finally in a place where I can appreciate me again. It’s a very good place to be.

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14 Responses

  1. Shelly says:

    Good on you, Kirsty! It’s such a great feeling when you’re fit and healthy. I’m trying, but find eating the right food just so hard.
    Shelly recently posted..Friday Funny: Brad Pitt for Chanel No.5 Spoofs

    • Kirsty says:

      I know what you mean. I’m not a natural fruit person so I have had to make myself eat more fruit and vegies. Plus I had to rid the house of biscuits as I can’t help myself when bikkies are around. But I have been surprised at how manageable it seems to be at the moment – I’m hoping I now have some long term eating habits that will help me keep the weight off. Good luck with it, Shelly!

  2. E. says:

    Well done. Enjoy your jeans and keep on appreciating yourself.
    E. recently posted..Stop your whining

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks E. I’m truly shocked at how little I did appreciate myself – I really I hope I’m never in that place again.

  3. Robomum says:

    Fantastic. Recently lost a fair bit of weight the same way. Really does change your way of life. I reckon you should head out this weekend and snap up a second pair of skinnys!

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Robomum – Weight Watchers is a great program, isn’t it? I’ve learned a lot about myself while on it, as well as what to eat and how to look after myself. I can heartily recommend it, it really has changed my life!

  4. WOW! Go you! That is an amazing effort and achievement Kirsty. It feels SO GOOD to get into those clothes again, doesn’t it? Not long now and they’ll be too big! That’s an even greater feeling (except for then struggling to find clothes that fit!).
    Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..Holiday Observations

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Aroha. That’s the irony of it all, isn’t it? Either you’re too big or too small for your clothes! I must say it has been very cathartic to go through the wardrobe and set aside the things that are now too big or too daggy to be worn. Note I said set aside not throw out as I’m not counting my chickens just yet!

  5. Summer says:

    Great job! You look fab in those jeans. =) I’m now preggie with my second and well, basically can’t fit into 90% of my clothes. Then again, after my first pregnancy, I already couldn’t fit into most of my jeans because of the enlarged hips. Haha. I hope to fit into my dream jeans someday too, and yes, it’s great to me able to appreciate me!
    Summer recently posted..My, or her, new bra

    • Kirsty says:

      Thanks Summer. You have to let go of the dream jeans for a while when pregnant but, if after 5 years I can finally sort myself out, I know you can too!

  6. Sandra Kelly says:

    Good on you Kirsty! When you don’t feel
    Good about anything in life it’s really hard to stay committed to a healthier lifestyle. You did it, you’re doing it, and I’m inspired by it. Xx

  7. Cat@lifethroughthehaze says:

    Thanks for linking up an old post. It is a really timely reminder that we all need to look after ourselves and remember ourselves. This is something that I don’t do.
    Hope you are still remembering yourself!!
    Cat xo

    • Kirsty says:

      I’m not remembering myself as much as I should, but I did spend a few hours indulging in some netflix last night and I gave myself permission to just sit and watch. I will always struggle with this but I do hope I get better at it!!!

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