Appreciating Me Again
Yesterday was a big day for me. It was a day I had looked forward to for years. For the first time, in a long time, I was able to fit into my dream pair of jeans. My skinny jeans.
I think we all have an item of clothing in our wardrobe that we aspire to wear one day. It may be an old favourite or something brand new, but it beckons to you as you embark on your weight loss journey.
It may jeer and laugh at you when you’re feeling low and inspire and encourage you when you’re on a roll. But it’s always there, either a beacon of light or a dreaded black hole at the back of your wardrobe.
Well, these jeans were that beacon for me. I bought them 5 years ago on a trip to Canberra with my husband. I was at my goal weight and feeling great. I actually bought 2 pairs of them, they were that flattering and comfortable. The other pair (that admittedly had a LOT more stretch than my dream pair) bit the dust earlier this year after much wear but my dream pair are still in good nick from far less use.
My slow and steady weight gain began not long after that trip away. I broke my little toe after colliding with Gilbert’s heel (it was bloody painful!) and the subsequent lack of exercise as I made my slow recovery started me on that slippery slope of weight gain. Two Autism diagnoses, a bout of depression and a third pregnancy in the following years conspired to make things worse.
Before I knew it, I was 5 years older, nearly 15kgs heavier and desperately unhappy with my look and my life. I found myself wearing unflattering clothes to hide my body, I was eating my own oversized meals plus snacking off the kids’ plates, I no longer exercised and I believed I had no willpower to make any lasting change to my life.
Worse still, my confidence in my capabilities in all spheres of my life was at an all-time low. Looking back, I really could not have appreciated myself less.
Apologies for the blurry image (courtesy of my lovely Matilda Bear) but this is me in August 2012, 2 weeks into my weight loss journey
Finally making the decision to take charge of my weight and make a real change was hard, but it’s been so worth it. Since starting on a Weight Watchers at Work program in July I have lost 9.6kgs and I am now nearing my goal weight. For the first time in a long time I feel good. I feel healthy. I feel proud of my body.
And I can finally fit into those dream pair of jeans again!
Me in November 2012, 15 weeks into my weight loss journey
Most importantly, I’ve regained my confidence, my belief in myself and my willpower. I have rediscovered my love of exercise and my love for myself. I hope to never take my body, my health or my self-esteem for granted ever again.
I’m finally in a place where I can appreciate me again. It’s a very good place to be.