According to Gilbert

My son is possibly the most interesting person I know. Anyone who has the chance to get to know him agrees that  he is one hell of a character. So I thought I would share some of his sayings with you today so you can get a taste of what he is all about.

1. According to Gilbert, it is all about pinkies (girls) vs blueys (boys) in this house. Apparently, he and his dad are an endangered species as they are outnumbered by us girls and have to stick together. It’s all about survival, you know.

2. According to Gilbert, slippery dips are not that exciting because all you do is climb up the ladder and then fall down – well, let’s face it, that’s the real truth, isn’t it?

3. According to Gilbert, he is determined to build a time machine so he can go back in time to be a baby again. Apparently babies have it made, they don’t have to go anywhere, they don’t have to go to school and they get to spend all day with their mums. For Gilbert, that represents his perfect life!

4. According to Gilbert, he wants to retire now. Why go through the motions of finishing school just to get a job you don’t want anyway? If he had his way, he’d be living in a caravan in a caravan park right now…possibly tinkering with his time machine…

5. According to Gilbert, healthy food is no good. Fruit and vegetables are not allowed near his plate or his mouth. Chips are NOT made from potato, okay?

6. According to Gilbert, Delilah can do no wrong while Matilda is the bane of his life. And, why does he have 2 sisters but no brother?

7. According to Gilbert, it is completely unfair that we don’t let him use the iPad or the computer or watch TV or DVDs all day, every day. While we’re at it, he thinks it’s totally unfair that we don’t let him have what he wants or let him do what he wants, all of the time. We’re clearly cruel parents who don’t really love him.

8. According to Gilbert, the instruments of the orchestra trump the instruments in a rock band every time. Just so you know, the pipe organ is the best instrument of all.

9. According to Gilbert, statues of Jesus all look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. Well, they both have beards, anyone can see the resemblance…

10. According to Gilbert, home is best. It’s nice to visit other places, very occasionally and only when he’s in the mood, but there’s nowhere like home.

Joining in with Jess for IBOT – I’d love to hear the thoughts of your kids too, I can’t get enough of their honest, logical and forthright views on our crazy world!

P.S. Gilbert personally reviewed this list before publishing for quality control purposes.

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17 Responses

  1. Oh what a classic! Our eldest is the font of all things serious-but-hilarious. His favourite conversation starter is “When I’m 18…”
    LittleWhiteDove recently posted..Shades of Grey.

    • Kirsty says:

      Hahaha, that sounds like Gilbert too! He lives for when he turns 18 and he becomes an adult so we won’t be able to boss him around anymore. Bless them both!

  2. of course healthy food is no good! Because really, we would probably all want to eat the yummy junk food all the time. But Gilbert sweety, some veges are yummy too! xx
    tahlia @ the parenting files recently posted..7 charity fundraising ideas

    • Kirsty says:

      Tahlia, I would pay you to come to my house and persuade him to voluntarily eat some fruit and veg! We’ve had some small wins lately with fruit (he’s been eating apples which is quite a big step for him) but we haven’t been able to get him to have more than the tiniest mouthful of veg. I’m pinning my hopes on his other ambition, to be the oldest living person in the world, and trying to explain that to live that long he will need to eat better – fingers crossed that approach brings a bit more success for us!

  3. miss.cinders says:

    I think Gilbert and BJ7 would get along like a house on fire! They sound so alike!!
    miss.cinders recently posted..that girl from china

    • Kirsty says:

      I’m glad to know that there are others out there like him – we need more characters like them in the world, they make it a much more interesting and fun place to live!

  4. Your Gilbert is one smart cookie! I love the sound of life according to Gilbert!
    Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..Wordless Wednesday : The Flower Edition

    • Kirsty says:

      He makes it sound oh so easy, doesn’t he? He does have a unique view of the world, I hope he always retains that, it certainly keeps me on my toes…

  5. Bronwyn says:

    I love your list of Gilbertisms.

    I think that Gilbert and my LittleMan have alot in common … especially the part about iPads/iPods and chips.
    Bronwyn recently posted..Stars of Les Mis 2012 – Hugh Jackman

    • Kirsty says:

      I’m sure a lot of Gilbert’s views are shared by children everywhere, he just doesn’t hesitate to make them clear to anyone he comes in contact with!

  6. Jess says:

    Gilbert has the right ideas! Why not retire when your a kid. Sounds perfect to me
    Jess recently posted..The Opposite of Man-Flu

  7. Marita says:

    LOL Gilbert and my girls have A LOT in common.
    Marita recently posted..Real Life Wednesday, Wordless Style

  8. Alice says:

    Gilbert’s got a good head on those shoulders of his!! My kids would agree with a lot of what he says, particularly my son X-man, who’s also unfortunate to have 2 sisters. Having played in both rock and orchestral situations the latter is quite an experience to be a part of. The pipe organ definitely wins over a distorted electric guitar!
    Alice recently posted..Music is…FUN!

    • Kirsty says:

      Gilbert has an obsession for musical instruments, particularly those of the orchestra. He learned the piano for a while and his teacher was amazed at the knowledge he had of music and musical instruments. She tested him a few times and he could tell you correctly, from highest to lowest, all the instruments in the brass, woodwind, string and percussion sections of the orchestra. Pity his thirst for knowledge didn’t equate to a passion for practicing his music but we’ll try him again in music next year and hopefully he will enjoy it again!

  1. January 28, 2014

    […] little while ago I shared some of Gilbert’s thoughts on the […]

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