To Blog or Not to Blog?
As you may have noticed, I have been on a little blogging break. Goodness, I hope you have noticed, else I’ll just go back and hide under my rock again…
Technically, I’m still on a break as I still don’t feel ready to return to full-on writing. But while I’ve been silent here there hasn’t been a day over the last 2 weeks where I haven’t thought about writing a post or read someone’s else’s blog or added a comment somewhere.
It feels as if blogging has been branded into my skin and wired into my brain. The freedom to pour out my musings and release my worries is intoxicating. The opportunity to learn from others and have a window into other worlds is addictive. I know now that I can’t walk away from it, not completely.
But I do need to maintain a little distance for a while. Frankly my mental health depends on it.
While I want to write, in a way, I am scared to do so. I’m scared that I will open Pandora’s Box and end up feeling the same pressure I did before to keep up with everything. Although writing would release some of the thoughts swirling endlessly through my mind, I don’t want it to release all the negative emotions that are safely locked away, hidden out of sight.
I want to be confident that I can start blogging again and know that it is just for me. I want to be able to blog without pressure, without worrying about numbers and stats and frequency. I want to escape the bonds of the self-imposed pressure that I place on myself. I need to get my head straight.
There are lots of posts I want to write and I will write them. I am determined to spend the time I need to make my words count and get my message heard. I was serious when I promised that I will write with more meaning and deliberation. I will. It will be worth the wait, I promise!
But for now, I just wanted to let you know that I am still here. I am still alive. I am still fighting. I am still thinking. I am still strong.
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