Suffocated as a Special Needs Parent
Sometimes I feel suffocated.
Sometimes I feel trapped by everything I am and everything I think I need to do.
Sometimes the sheer weight of obligation and expectation and responsibility feels too much to bear.
Sometimes I want to escape. I want to quit everything. I want my brain to shut down. I want some quiet from the stress and the worry and the strain.
Sometimes I dislike myself intensely.
Sometimes I just want to forget.
Sometimes I resent my role as a special needs parent. I just want to live a quiet, relaxed and “normal” life.
Sometimes I yearn for solitude while dreading the quiet of the night.
Sometimes I fear the truths buried deep in my mind.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to fight so hard for every little thing, every single day.
Sometimes the future overshadows everything and I can’t see a way forward.
Sometimes I want to give up.
Tomorrow I will be strong and brave again. Tomorrow I will be positive and focused on the future. Tomorrow I will be myself again.
But today I feel suffocated.
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