I Hate Being Sick
Imagine me saying that in the voice of Grumpy Smurf…
I have been sick since last Friday. After a weekend of severe headaches, light sensitivity, vomiting and little sleep we headed up to our local emergency department to see what was up. After I was cleared of anything life threatening or nasty I was sent to GP Access for further evaluation.
It turns out I have impacted sinuses. So impacted that there is nowhere for the gunk to go so it decided to have a party in my head and face – fun for the gunk, no fun for me. I now have my own pharmacy of sinus medications in my bathroom in a bid to gatecrash the party and tell the gunk where to go!
Other than copious amounts of medication, I have also been ordered to rest which has been the hardest instruction to follow.
I must admit, I am a bad patient. I hate laying around doing nothing. I dislike tasks being done the “wrong” way (i.e. not my way!). And I detest seeing messes piling up all over the house while some things don’t even get attended to.
I think to myself, “if I do this quickly now, I can then have a proper rest!” So, I do the little thing (which then doesn’t turn out to be quite so little) and before I know it, I am exhausted and unwell and end up in bed again.
It’s my fault really. I am a control freak and I have a tiny little ego complex where I believe that I am the only one who can save the family from mess and ruin. Thus I’m indispensible, so when I’m incapacitated, obviously life cannot carry on without me. Dramatic, I know, but sadly that’s where my head is at.
I should know better, but it’s one of those mind sets that are so hard to break…
But it is time I did try to break it. I’ve been mulling lately over my goals and resolutions for the new year. There are a few things I want to concentrate on but I have narrowed it down to three areas that I feel will give me the greatest benefit – organisation, health and mind set.
1. ORGANISATION – Time management
My time management skills are crap. I don’t manage time well. I try to catch up with it rather than manage it. I want to be less rushed and more organised in 2012 and that can only happen with better preparation on my part.
To start my quest to better manage my time I have purchased a gorgeous Inner-B Mum Organiser starter pack which came with an organiser in turquoise plus menu plans, and daily and weekly planners. I also have my eye on an iPhone once my current plan runs out in January and I’m going to try to cram less into each day – that’s going to be the hard one to break but I suspect it is the root of most of my problems!
2. HEALTH – Exercising and eating better
My husband and I are both determined to be healthier next year. I’m hoping working together on this will finally yield results after years of stop-start diets and exercise plans. We are going to buy an exercise bike so we can exercise at home with the kids and I’m investigating fitness clubs to find one that will be reasonably cheap and have classes on at the right times for me to attend.
We are also considering taking the plunge and joining up with Weight Watchers (which I have used before to successfully lose weight) because, unless I have the motivator of losing money or having to be weighed in public, I find my feeble efforts to do the same at home simply don’t work!
3. MIND SET – Letting go
I need to let go of some things and let my husband do more for me and the family. The kids are so used to me doing things that poor Dad doesn’t get a look-in sometimes. I also have to allow the kids to do more themselves too (I’m so often in a rush that I can’t wait for them to dress themselves, etc, so I’ll step in and finish the job).
This goes hand in hand with being more organised. I need to let go for the good of everyone – for my mental and physical health, for my husband’s relationship with the kids and for the kids to develop independence and their own coping strategies.
Most of all, I need to accept that things can move on without me and that is okay. I am an important part of the family but I am not THE most important part. It is okay for me to have time out for myself, that I should schedule time for myself every week and that the house will not fall apart if I’m not there.
So, if I am sick I’ll be able to let go and have the rest I need. When I go away to DPCON12 in March I can fully enjoy myself and not worry about what might be happening at home. And if I want time to catch up with friends I shouldn’t feel guilty about doing that – because the home, my husband and my kids will still be there waiting for me.
Yes, these are lofty goals but I’ll keep myself honest (or those of you who know me IRL will anyway!) and I’ll definitely be blogging about my progress…
Joining up for the very first time with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for her I Blog on Tuesdays (IBOT) linky – how exciting!